Do you consider yourself being a “Woman of Worth”? Do you feel you are worth waiting for? Have your parents ever told you of your worth? Do you want to become more than a sex object to men? Do you want men to respect you and treat you like a Queen? Do you want to experience being in love and not in lust? Would you consider a man after God’s own heart or after the world? Do you even know the difference? We say we want to be treated like a Queen, but we need to take responsibility for our own actions. We as ladies play a major part of being respected by men.
These are brief stories that you may have encountered during your past or present life. These stories will pinpoint if you are truly a “Woman of Worth” or if you’re allowing men to treat you like trash on the street.
Scene 1- I’m worth waiting for….
As beautiful as you are, you tend to attract petulant and ninny men and never once question your judgment, but delightfully indulge in those relationships. As the relationship continues, you find yourself always feeling uneasy with these men but never search within yourself. Why is it that each time you visit this guy it’s always sexual? He’s never once taken you out to a fine dining restaurant, but occasionally he has suggested going to “On the Border” or ” O’Charley’s” restaurant. After dinner, it’s back to his house for some serious love-making (which is fornication). He gets up, takes a shower and asks how much longer you’re planning on being here because he is ready to go to bed “WITHOUT YOU”. Wow! Guess what Ladies, you’re not good enough to spend the night with him and he just wanted to get his rocks off. Let’s keep it real, back to the story. The next day, he invites you to attend a “fish fry” or birthday gathering” with him but only to leave you standing up at the party by yourself while he mingles with his friends. During the event, he never introduces you as his woman, so they already know you don’t mean anything to him. After the event, it’s the usual again, SEX. You’re so in love with a Jerk…which really it’s lust…back to the story…and he doesn’t even care about you. He may tell you over the phone you are his “girl” just to keep you coming back to him but in public he will never display it. Once the sex is old and he is ready for something new, he will drop and leave you heartbroken and flummoxed. Here you are buying this guy accessories and he is buying another woman accessories because at this point you don’t mean anything to him. Wow! You are a woman worth waiting for and you hold the key. Use it!
Scene 2- Being a sex object…..
As always you are beautiful with your tiny waist, bubble butt, wide hips, and tight legs. Oh yes, I’m talking about you, who wear those tight dresses, short dresses, tight jeans and whatever else to show off your body to get attention. There are several women who show off their vaginal print wearing (camel toes) revealing clothing and think you got it going on. Wow! Men tend to throw themselves at you, spend money on you, travel with you, and will take you on a shopping spree but in return they want your beautiful body for SEX. They will do whatever it takes to get you in bed because they are only attracted to you physically. You’re bragging to other women about how many men you have: you have one that takes you shopping; a second one that takes you out to eat; a third one that pays your bills; a fourth one that gives you sex whenever you want it; and a fifth one that give you money and whom you travel with. Wow! You have five men and most likely you’re sexually active with all of them, in which you could get AIDS or an STD. During this time, you find one of the guys truly interested in being with and you want to leave the other guys alone for him, but you find out he too has another woman and you were just SEX to him. He loves the fact that you can put it down, dance for him, and make his toes curl….but he would never introduce you as his woman. He brags to his friends about you and that the sex is awesome but he loves the other woman and refuses to leave her for you. Wow! You may have a great physique, but you are not wife material – just sex material. Now, you’re angry and sad and you decide to talk to one of the other guys who you believe is sprung over you. Trying to heal the pain from the other guy you started to date another one until the pain is gone, but this guy really does like you a little too much. He tells everybody about you and that’s you two are a couple and you find out that he’s even posted your photo on his Facebook wall. Wow! After a few months, you’re feeling better you decide to dismiss the other guy and move on, but to your surprise he is not going to allow you to just leave him. This guy is so furious because you left without notice, so he decides to corrupt your character and the next time you hook up with him for sex, he records it and emails your friends to let them know you’re nothing but a whore and was only good for sex. He was so hurt that he figures that he should make you hurt the same way you made him hurt. Wow! Now, you’re really hurt and feel ashamed. Wow! You are worth waiting for and you hold the key. Use it!
Scene 3- Normal or not….
As always beautiful, but this time you’re not showing off your body or engaging in multiple relationships. You have decided to become friends with this guy who you truly admire. You two have fun together and enjoy each other’s company when you’re out at gatherings or special events. You talk just about every day on the phone or have dinner two or three times a week. One night as you two were talking you notice he seems bristled at a comment you mentioned earlier. Nevertheless, you ignore how he felt and kept talking because you were curious about something you heard about him and was eager to get home. As soon as you made it home you scoured through the Internet trying to find anything about him but to your surprise, you couldn’t. During a phone conversation, he unexpectedly tells you how much he loves you and to your surprise you don’t feel the exact same way but you do care for him. He wants to take you out to dinner, but this time at a fine dining restaurant and just when you thought the night was going to become exciting, his ex-girlfriend walks into the restaurant, which you didn’t have a clue that there was an ex. You being clueless, he goes over to speak to her and as they are talking she is staring at you. He walks back and never mentions to you who she was so you decide to ask him about her. As you ask, he begins to snap at you and start calling you out of your name and degrading you in front of everyone in the restaurant. You don’t know what’s going on and you’ve never seen this side of him before until tonight. As you got up to leave, he sat there quietly and watched you leave. Later that night he texts you an apology and states that he was going through something which didn’t make no sense to you but you accepted his apology and continue to date the “Jerk”. Please note this man just called you out of your name for no reason and embarrassed you in front of everyone including his ex-girlfriend and you still want to date him? Wow! He does not respect you and he treated you like dirt on the street. It’s great to forgive but don’t settle for second best just so you can have a man. He might not have cheated on you but emotional abuse is just as worse as physical abuse. You are worth waiting for and you hold the key. Use it!
In conclusion, as women we tend to settle for men that disrespect and degrade us. Why? It could be that you saw your father treat your mother that way. Or you didn’t’ have a father growing up and you figure that’s love because you never had your parents to tell you that they love you or tell you about your worth. God says, you are beautiful, created in His image and you’re amazing. Ladies, stop making excuses for these guys and allow them to take responsibility for their own actions. You cannot change a man but you can only pray for him, but he has to be willing to change on his own and not on your terms. It’s not normal for a man to disrespect you regardless what you have done or said to him, and in any given situation, he should still treat you like a lady even if you’re not acting like one. If you’re in relationship with someone that is emotionally abusive, please inform that person how you feel and if he continues please leave, it’s not worth it. Now, if you’re married and your spouse is degrading you, please remember you two are one and God will hear your prayer and it will touch His heart. It’s a choice to leave the person we are dating or continue to date him.
I encourage every woman that’s reading this, that you’re a “Woman of Worth”. You are amazing, unique, and beautiful inside and out, great masterpiece of the Lord and He loves you so much. You are like a delicate flower and you deserve to be treated like a Queen. You don’t have to use your body to get a man and you don’t have to engage sex to keep a man either. I know plenty of you are saying, this is a new century and it is, but Jesus is still the same today, yesterday, and forever more and His Word does not change with the world. God said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”. Ladies, allow the men to find you and don’t settle but always trust and wait on God.
As always, Jesus loves you and so do I.
A. Woods Related Reading. Proverbs 18:22 and Hebrews 13:8
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